By golly, I got another email from President Obama! Last time he emailed me, it was to thank me for my efforts to push back against Obamacare, now it is – a bit awkwardly – to co-sign the health care bill recently passed by Congress, and signed by his majesty himself earlier today:
This morning, I gathered with members of Congress, my administration, and hardworking volunteers from every part of the country to sign comprehensive health care reform into law. Thanks to the immeasurable efforts of so many, the dream of reform is now a reality.
How nice you contact me again, Mr. President. I’m both humbled and impressed. After all, one doesn’t receive an email from the most powerful socialist in the world every day, does one?
However, I’m afraid you still did not heed my advise to actually read my blog posts and columns. You see, I wasn’t being ironic when I said I did not support your attempt to “radically transform” America’s health care system. To the contrary, even. I opposed it passionately.
You see, I believed and continue to believe that socialism is not the answer to America’s problems. America’s health care system certainly needs fixing. But fixing isn’t the same as destroying it and starting anew. No, to fix something implies you work with what you have. That’s the opposite of what you’re doing with your precious bill, which is nothing short of revolutionary. And with revolutionary I mean, of course, “socialist.”
OK, back to your kind email:
So as we celebrate this great day, I want to invite you to add your name where it belongs: alongside mine as a co-signer of this historic legislation. Organizing for America will record the names of co-signers as a permanent commemoration of those who came together to make this moment possible — all of you who refused to give up until the dream of many generations for affordable, quality care for all Americans was finally fulfilled.
So if you haven’t yet, please add your name as a proud health care reform co-signer today:
I’m terribly sorry, but I’m afraid I’ll have to disappoint you again. You see, I have no intention whatsoever of putting my name next to yours under the worst bill approved by Congress in history. If you don’t mind, I prefer to keep my soul untouched by the disgusting piece of trash popularly known as “Obamacare.” If you want to deal with the Socialist Devil, so be it, I don’t want any part of it.
Now that we’re being honest with each other, I’d also like to make clear that I’m not very appreciative of your messages. I get the strong impression you either don’t read my replies or don’t care. This would fit in rather nicely with your far-left elitist ideology, of course, but it’s a bit frustrating for me. I might as well talk to the walk next to me. No, let me rephrase that, I could better talk to the wall next to me: at least the wall won’t send me an email harassing me to brag about his latest “revolutionary” victory.
Kindest regards,
Michael
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