Using data acquired from the International House of Pancakes, scientists have documented that Kansas is not, in fact, as flat as a pancake. It is, in fact, a great deal flatter.

A team of scientists from Southwest Texas State University and Arizona State University recently published an article in which researchers analyzed the geography both of the state and that of a pancake purchased at International House of Pancakes.

“Simply put, our results show that Kansas is considerably flatter than a pancake,” they wrote.

The results, published in the tongue-in-cheek Annals of Improbable Research, have created a flapjack flap among geologists and others in Kansas.

The revelation has sent tremors through Kansan communities, as defenders of the state sought to spin the findings:

“My guess is you could put Colorado in there, the way they’re calculating it, and it would be flatter than a pancake,” said Lee Allison, director of the Kansas Geological Survey. “I think this is part of a vast breakfast food conspiracy to denigrate Kansas. It’s a cheap shot.”

In comments threads throughout the blogosphere, debate raged over the meaning of this shocking controversy. Conspiracy theorists raised new concerns, however. “What about those mountains they show outside of New Bern, Kansas on [CBS television series] Jericho?” asked Martin MacKenney of Albatross, New York. “I sure can’t wait to see how the [long promised but interminably delayed] second season explains that! Vote Ron Paul!”

Others complained that the research had even been conducted at all. “How can scientists be eating pancakes at IHOP when millions of people are being murdered every day in an illegal imperialist war in Iraq?” lamented Ashleigh Juniper-Kellian of the activist group MoveOver.org. “Any research into flatness should be focusing on Bush’s poll numbers.”

These political implications drew attention from the other side as well. “This research shows the pervasiveness of liberal bias among academics,” complained Seth Pisterson of the Society Against Liberal Activist Professors (SALAP). “They are obviously trying to discredit Kansas because it is a red state with a solid church-going population and fine conservative leaders like Sam Brownback with national political support.”

How future research and debate into the geographical implications of America’s breakfast choices will play out in the upcoming election season remains to be seen, of course. But few question that its impact will exceed that of Mike Gravel.